Does she love you or your wallet?

We work with a lot of wealthy men in our business, men who have high value of assets, high public profiles and a lot to lose by investing emotionally in the wrong relationship. It’s unsurprising then, that one of the challenges we face is the doubt they have about a woman’s motivation for dating them. As much as we’re here to support and put their minds at rest, we also think it’s important to have the tools to assess these dating risks yourself. So, here are a few of the things to look out for, if you face these same fears yourself.

How does she behave?

As obvious as it may seem, this is exactly where you need to start if you doubt the sincerity of a partner. Her varying reaction to expensive and inexpensive gifts, where you take her for dinner, how she treats people and her expectations of the relationship from day to day, will tell you a lot about what really moves and motivates your lady friend. At the beginning of a relationship most people tend to be on their best behaviour, so if anything jars with you, don’t ignore it. Also, try not to make too many excuses for a partner or doubt your intuition, observe the facts, maybe ask questions and then act accordingly.

Is she a super model?

You may think that you’ve struck gold if you happen to meet a woman who, on any regular day, would by most be considered ‘way out of your league’. What you may have struck in fact, is a gold digger. Yes, this is awfully generalising of us, but we’re here to tell you the harsh truth of what you need to know. Of course there are beautiful women out there who will love you for who you are. However, if you suddenly find yourself dating a super model who’s half your age, then be honest about what her motives may be. It doesn’t mean you need to end the relationship, just make sure you’re both clear about exactly where you stand.

Do you have anything in common?

What do you and this woman actually have in common with each other that can be sustained long term? A great way to find out is to see how well you both connect when you’re alone. And we mean when you’re alone not doing much, not out having dinner, or even home having sex, or any of the other distractions that can temporarily fool you into thinking you’re a match made in heaven. It’s in the quiet moments, watching TV, listening to music, talking on the phone, where you’ll find your answers. Is she interested in you as a man, as a human being? Does she want to know about you, or is she more interested in what you have and can do for her?

How does she feel about you paying?

Now, we’re a very traditional matchmaking agency, in that if you ask a lady out on a date we believe as the host of the evening you should be paying for it. This, however, doesn’t mean that her hands should be firmly planted inside her pockets every time you go out. If you have a habit of going to establishments that you know are out of her price point, try going to a few coffee shops or doing things that are inexpensive. See whether it’s within her makeup to chip in financially when she can.

What are her life ambitions?

Does she have any ambitions, any career or educational achievements to note? Bear in mind that educated, successful women can still be social climbers, but it’s more of a red flag if your partner has no credentials or solid dreams of her own. If her future is utterly dependant on yours, and what you can provide for it, tread carefully. Self-fulfilled ambitions make people interesting, it means they’re invested in something greater than the present moment and hopefully something outside themselves. Someone with a lack of genuine life goals can grow dull to be around and even duller to have to support financially.

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